And just like that...

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Sex and the City reboot

It is so so bad

Late to the game? We don’t care. If you’ve been a long-time reader, you may recall that we once shared our thoughts on the beloved sexy and cityish masterpiece, Sex and the City! Throwback to the creatively titled Sex and the Reid Street, though if we’re honest, that issue was actually just written by Rhian who had been on a SATC bender at the time, and Anna was willing to relinquish control that week. However, as we have both watched and adored the iconic feminist masterpiece, we thought it was high time to punish ourselves with the less-acclaimed and desperately politically correct spin-off, And Just Like That…

We’ve prepped ourselves with 10 minutes worth of AJLT Season 1 & 2 YouTube recaps and thus are ready to dive into Season 3, Episode 1. Let’s do it!

Miranda fucks a virgin nun played by Rosie O’Donnell. We have nothing to say about this except that it takes place in the first 5 minutes and therefore sets the tone for this trainwreck of an episode. Lesbian power!

This is backed up shortly by rogue Shein product placement. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! From Louboutins and Dior to child labour and polyester. Wonder how much Shein paid for this…

Carrie wears an outrageous hat- this is the most canon & normal part of the episode so far.

Racism- Knock it off! In their desperate attempts for relevance and diversity, the newly added non-white characters (who are all inexplicably SUPER hot) have storylines that mainly revolve around race. Forced and weird tone, and of course they must make reference to Michelle Obama.

Aidan kind of ignores Carrie- perhaps some much-needed character development here. We’re enjoying the show for this brief moment.

This outrageous necklace:

You too can purchase this beautiful piece of jewellery! Only $300.

“No hugs for your guncle?” Is our new catchphrase by beloved gay bestie Anthony. It also reminds us of the classic tweet ‘what? No bless yous for Giacamo?”.

Aidan is now starting to reignite his simping for Carrie with weird phone sex and it’s making us want to die. “Are you touching yourself?” followed shortly by “I think I might have shit my pants a little” is not something we thought we’d ever hear on this show. We think this might actually be the worst thing we’ve ever had to endure, and Anna once had to hold Rhian’s hand through getting scabies off her 32yo situationship. Carrie now fakes an orgasm while Aidan gets himself off.

Charlotte’s dog is racist. In the middle of her Facebook local community group drama storyline, her dog tries to eat a historic African-American doll. This filler scene is of no consequence to the episode’s storyline.

Some side characters are now performing an Acapella performance for seemingly no reason. Was spontaneous singing ever a feature in SATC?

Rosie O’Donnell, the virgin nun, is now singing Wicked. The lyric “I have been changed for good” is deeply resonating with us at this point, as we feel we’ll never come back from this experience. And just like that… Aidan and Carrie are attempting to have phone sex again.

The episode can’t finish quickly enough after two traumatising phone sex scenes, and we’re left with Carrie’s final contemplation… “What have I gotten myself into?”. Girl, same.

Well. That was 40 minutes of our lives we’ll never get back. And since there’s no existing 4-hour documentary on the drama that went down between SJP and Kim Cattrall, we guess we’ll keep watching.

Can’t wait to do it all again next week!

Saba-saRAY! (note Kim Cattrall scatting with an upright bass)